The Stupidest Thing I Ever Published

January 15, 2015

Every year for BizarroCon I make an exclusive chapbook. It’s normally short stories that have yet to be collected or essays I write on various topics. This past con was something different.

Nine writers and artists, including myself, wrote stories, poetry, and created art based on my morbidly obese cat, Squishy.

Here’s the cover:

The Squishy Stories Cover

The only way to get a copy was to come to BizarroCon or contribute to Squishy’s pet psychic fund (that’s another story). There will be no more copies made and none of the pieces included will be reprinted.

But don’t be too sad if you didn’t get one. BizarroCon 2015, THE SQUISHY STORIES – VOLUME 2…

Top Ten Movies of 2014

January 13, 2015

It’s been awhile since I updated this site. Expect that to change soon. I have some plans for some overhauls and more constant content.

In the meantime, check out my Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2014.

My Biggest Interview, Ever!

May 22, 2014

I did an interview for the Bizarro Fiction fan group on Facebook. Anyone could ask me any question they wanted. This is a LONG interview and you can basically learn anything you wanted to know about me from it. Click READ MORE to check it out.

Read the rest of this entry »

World Horror Wrap-Up

May 12, 2014

Wow, the World Horror Convention was absolutely amazing! That was an insane nonstop whirlwind four days of hanging out with some of the most awesome people in the world! Here were just a few of my highlights:

– Hosting the Deadite Press party and sharing my favorite beer, Super Dog IPA, with everyone.

– Moderating the “Hardcore Fucking Horror” panel with Michael T Huyck Jr, Wrath James White, Jack Ketchum, Christine Morgan, and Aaron Sterns. The best part was when the father lead his small child out of the room after forty minutes of talking about incest, cannibalism, and donkey fucking. We had no idea the kid was in the room!

– My hometown buddy and Deadite Press best-selling author, Brian Keene, being honored with the World Horror Grand Master Award.

– Signing of ton of shit at the mass autograph session. I’m always shocked when people have my stuff and actually want it signed.

– Shane McKenzie and I getting kidnapped by clowns and hanging out drinking and talking television with CARNIVALE’s creator, Daniel Knauf. And then Shane and Daniel being shocked when the clowns got naked and I was completely nonplussed. They do that all the time.

– Running tech on the film block and seeing the fantastic SURVIVOR TYPE adaptation by Billy Hanson.

– Sharing Portland’s very own The Bedlam Sisters Side Show with a packed room of horror professionals and watching them cringe at the side show acts.

– Surprising Alan M. Clark and singing him “Happy Birthday” with about twenty other people.

– Hosting another amazing Gross Out Contest with judging by Brian Keene, Rose O’Keefe, John Skipp, Douglas E. Winter, and Daniel Knauf. Congrats to winners Stephen Lybeck (first place), David Agranoff (second place), Querus Abuttu (third place), Gardner Goldsmith (fourth place), and Shane McKenzie (judge’s choice). They received awesome prize bags with comic books and Alex Pardee horror prints. Expect Gardner who got a pudding cup and Shane who took a bite of sausage dipped in mayonnaise – I almost vomited at that.

– When I host the Gross Out, I always like to do a few little skits. This time I explained to everyone what real disgusting ingredients are in candy, shared DINOSAURS ATTACK cards with everyone in the audience, and getting a copy of SHATNERQUEST stapled to my back by Miss Spooky aka Theo Polidori.

– Having only two people show up to my reading and I just told Squishy stories and showed pictures of her.

– Moderating a panel on horror and video games and getting amazing insight into the industry from Nancy Holden, Leslie Klinger, and Joe Borrelli (writer for EA).

– Sharing the Portland institutions Montage and The Lovecraft Bar with so many visiting out of town friends.

– Hanging out on a roof top bar with Cameron Pierce, John Skipp, Christoph Paul, Ryan Harding, and Edmund Colell and discussing upcoming projects, religion, and industry gossip.

I am so exhausted but overjoyed at just how wonderful a time that was. Thanks to everyone that came out and thanks to everyone that made the event happen. Special thanks to Chrissy Horchheimer for manning the book table all weekend, Edward Morris for making sure all the logistic details were handled, Rose O’Keefe for putting us up in an amazing room with an incredible view of Portland, and everyone in The Bedlam Sisters Side Show for proving we have the most creative, talented, and beautiful people here in Portland.

The World Horror Convention will be in Atlanta, GA and it sounds like there will be something special happening at the Gross Out Contest there. I can’t say what but you’re gonna want to be there…

My Schedule for the World Horror Convention

May 3, 2014

This coming week is the World Horror Convention in Portland, OR!

These are all the events that I am involved in. I hope to see a lot of there you!

Thursday, May 8
8-9 pm
Panel: What Editors Want
(Paula Guran, Don D’Auria, Jeff Burk, Nick Mamatas, Ross Lockhart )
Professional editors offer their insights on their side of the publishing market: what sells, what grabs an audience, and what often crashes with the best of intentions.

Friday, May 9

3-4 pm
Panel: Hardcore Fucking Horror
(Jeff Burk, Jack Ketchum, Wrath James White, Christine Morgan, Michael Huyck, Aaron Sterns)
Horror has always pushed fiction to the very edge. Follow us over to the most extreme corners of the genre. And is there such a thing as going “too far?”

6-9 pm
Mass Autograph Signing
All of your favorite writers are in one spot and are willing to sign books!

Deadite Press Party

Saturday, May 10

10-11 am
Pitch Workshop/Editor Meet & Greet
(Jason Brock, Dave Thomas, R.J. Cavender, Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce, Nancy Siegel, Sarah Peed, Don D’Auria, Michael Bailey)

8:30-9:30 pm
Deadite Press presents The Bedlam Sisters Sideshow
Portland’s very own sexy and terrifying freak show with a live performance of acts and skills guaranteed to shock and disgust. WARNING: THIS EVENT CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT

10-11 pm
Gross Out Contest
Do you have what it takes to be crowned the grossest storyteller of the World Horror Convention? Hosted by Jeff Burk and judged by Brian Keene, Douglas Winters, Rose O’Keefe, John Skipp, and Daniel Knauf. Ten authors will take the stage but only one will win the bragging rights and amazing prizes! WARNING: THIS EVENT CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT

Sunday, May 11

Cthulhu Prayer Breakfast
(Cody Goodfellow, John Skipp, Cthulhu Cultists)
Come witness an eldritch local tradition as Portland’s Esoteric Order of Dagon presents its severalennial ritual prayer breakfast and recruitment drive. Put your webbed hands together for a sermon, church news and posthuman hymns led by Bishop Ichabod Marsh and Deacon Froggy Mason (Cody Goodfellow & John Skipp) and the EOD’s own all-croaking Noneuclidean Choir.

11-11:30 am
Reading: Jeff Burk

New Kindle Collection

April 22, 2014

promo chapbook coverJeff Burk is the cult favorite author of several books including SHATNERQUAKE and CRIPPLE WOLF. He is also one of the most original, ridiculous, and nerdy voices in the bizarro genre. B-MOVIES AND BEER RUINED MY LIFE! contains six short stories and two non-fiction pieces by Jeff Burk. From the filming of a hentai where a monster can’t get it’s tentacles up to a house made literally of cats, this collection shows why Wil Wheaton described his writing as “Lloyd Kaufman and Sam Raimi’s mutant offspring,”

This ebook also contains two non-fiction essays. One about his worst reading ever where someone called the cops and an essay on loving extreme horror.

This collection contains:

Available only on Kindle

I was interviewed on the Surreal Grotesque Podcast

February 24, 2014

I was interviewed for the 52nd episode of the Surreal Grotesque Podcast. It’s a great interview series with some of the coolest people in bizarro and horror. Here’s host Jeremy Maddux’s description of the interview:

“I interviewed Jeff Burk of Deadite and Eraserhead Press. We talked about the impressive Deadite releases coming up next month, the Shatnerquake series, his cat Squishy and what lessons we can take away from extreme horror.”

Click here to have a listen and make sure to dig through their archives for more great interviews!


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